the place of birthing

Does it matter where we give birth? Well, yes it does.

It will be part of your life story. It will influence your baby's life story.

This does NOT mean that if your pregnancy was cared for and loving and your preparation for birth sensitive but ending up in a hospital that you are somehow less of a woman than your neighbor who gave birth at home. It does mean that everything you experienced in the hospital will imprint on your relationship to yourself and to your baby. Some women are so fearful, for example, that it is better for them to be surrounded by machines and doctors.  Perhaps it will be possible for them to question why they were so fearful in the first place. Some women have such a chaotic house and busy lifestyle that rooming-in in the hospital gives them more relaxation than coming home right away. Other women could never relax in an environment of machines and antiseptic corridors and would do everything in their power to create a quiet situation at home (babysitters for children, friends to cook and shop) after the birth.  A cesarean is a different birth experience for a baby and mother (and father, perhaps) and needs to be accompanied in a loving manner.  

We should not pretend it was the same as a natural birth. For the mother, a cesarean is major surgery and causes pain and difficulty to walk and hold the baby.  A natural childbirth that was accompanied by ripping of the perineum will also cause pain and even shamefulness that need accompanying. One might consider next time giving birth in water, or massaging the perineum with oils or taking more time to press.  Your experience will include interactions with the staff and environment that are so private and intimate you barely even put words to them but they are there and will reappear your whole life long. In our modern world, it is tempting to ignore the different starts we get to life.  After all these years, I have to wonder if most people I knew were born quietly and naturally, breastfed lovingly, carried close and allowed to sleep with their parents for those crucial early years, they wouldn't grow up strong and secure and able to work wonders in the world. This site is dedicated to discovering more about the ways people are raised around the world.

Return to Birth